Butterfly 

The simple thought of you,

My feelings renewed,

I had put you out of my mind,

Knowing you’d be back in time,

I had to fix myself before hand,

I didn’t want to push you away, please understand,

The woman you met in July,

Refined before your eyes,

Once a caterpillar,

Now a butterfly,

I’ll be your canvas, 

you be my muse,

Now make me an offer,

I can’t refuse!!

Change

The feeling is overwhelming,

Everyday a new beginning,

I could feel there energy,

Not a good feeling towards me,

Instead of being motivated,

I’m already hated,

Expect for one,

Who’s helped me from day one!

His energy overpowers all the negativity,

Yet another obstacle,I’m going to pass with simplicity,

I will continue to smile,

Forever not just awhile,

Change is necessary, in order to grow,

If this is a poker game, I’m not gonna fold!!

Closure 

I’ve been around since 2004,

I never dreamed of closing this door,

Getting a job here was a dream come true,

The way I’m leaving breaks my heart in two,

Coming to work with such pride,

Until what happened to me in July,

Being a black woman, I’m most often misunderstood,

End up doing more harm then good,

On another human being, what happened to me I’d never wish,

For my colleague to feel entitled,

And call me a bitch,

Yes my emotions got the best of me,

I realized I never mattered,

Not even an apology,

That was the push that I needed you see,

To better myself and continue on my journey,

For my experience, knowledge and growth, to you I’m forever grateful,

Without this situation, 

I wouldn’t have been able,

I can walk away with my head held high,

I’m smiling as I say goodbye 🦋

                 Life’s wonders

As the years go by,

You begin to realize,

The problems we thought we had,

Weren’t really problems, which is sad,

All those years we spent trying to figure out our emotions,

Pain, fear, sorrow and love, with such devotion,

Had we put more emphasis on bettering ones self,

We’d really appreciate the cards that we were dealt,

Education, work, and family,

We lose ourselves and forget to be happy,

We’re so consumed with vanity and greed,

You forget to simply enjoy, the air that we breath,

Some people come to realize life’s gift,

The beauty and everlasting wonder to that it gives,

If it’s one thing I’ve learned,

Be humble. Don’t take any situation for granted, the tables do turn,

Welcome every moment, with a open heart,

Don’t look at the end, focus on how you start!

I’m all about self expression,

At the same time I didn’t want to ruin your first impression,

I was playing with my words in my head,

Laying on the sheet that I’d spread,

Hoping my emotions wouldn’t get the best of me,

Or that I wouldn’t come off, as being too chatty,

organic and transparent that’s all I could be,

It’s my truth it shines within me,

I assumed your intentions when you asked me out,

Still I’d like to hear what they’re all about!

You’ve shown me chivalry hasn’t died,

I have yet to witness what you have inside,

I hear your lyrics, I feel your music, your touch feeds my soul,

Let’s see in a few months from now, If we still share the same goals.

Not sure

Not sure of how much more I can take,

Is this my destiny is this my fate,

How many struggles do I have to go through,

Please tell me what am I supposed to do,

I’m trying to keep my mind clear,

Honestly it’s clouded with fear,

I’m second guessing every move I make,

Second guessing every path I take,

I just need a small sign,

Reassuring me that everything is going to work out In time.

Life happens

  It’s funny how things work out sometimes, a bad situation will make you reconsider just about everything. While my mind body and soul remain unbalanced, I can’t commit to anything. I shy away from a lot of things that my soul is crying for, my mind is telling me walk away. I sit back and reflect on what it is that I’m really looking for! Can one person give me all of that. Maybe the answer I’m looking for isn’t in a person, perhaps a place, or a moment that has either happened or waiting to happen. I refuse to overlook the many possibilities that I could encounter. When things are calm my perception reflects on that! When things are chaotic I become more irrational. I need to find my inner peace, my solar balance. In order for me to be able to connect with life in a more practical way. To be able to stop, think, breath, and move forward with dignity. For the moment I move off of energy, if it feels good without me putting much thought into it, then I let it flow, but if I have to second guess myself I just simply exhale and let it go. The climb is slow and yes my path may be rocky, and god knows temptation is a powerful thing. I may venture on unfamiliar grounds, but the important thing is that I don’t stay lost forever. One day I will find my way!

My turn

I don’t pay attention to the words that you speak,

I pay attention to your demeanour every time we meet, 

I hear you but your eyes tell a different story, 

You may have been hurt before but there not me,

I don’t have time for fun and games,

I love my solitude all the same,

You got to know your true intentions,

Cause wasting my time is out of the question!

I deserve to be desired for all that’s in me,

If you can’t see my worth then don’t approach me.

I want romance and intimacy,

It’s my turn for love unconditionally!

Free

 Had my shares of ups and downs,  Tired of always being on the ground,

I almost forgot what it feels like to smile,

Never truly happy only for awhile,

I no longer trust what is said to me,

I look beyond what the eye can’t see,

I’ve learnt that I can only depend on me,

Life is just a bitter mystery,

A universe in which we have no control,

I don’t play by the rules I have my own goals,

I’m a free spirited soul, I can’t be tamed nor controlled,

With age I’m a better version of me,

Phenomenal woman that’s me!!

Feelings

The way I feel for you scares me,

Im falling 10 steps ahead of where I should be,

It’s so easy to fall in love,

When from the rest you seem to be above,

I can’t seem to read you,

That shit scares the shit out of me in truth,

My expectations I don’t want to have any,

That shit hurts entirely,

I desire you to the core of my soul,

My feelings I can’t seem to control,

I want to be your everything,

To be your queen and you my king,

I want to be your only reason,

Forever not just a season!

Puzzeld

I'm not sure of the name to give,
or the way to feel or how I live,
I'm not sure of the road ahead,
I'm a little confused as I lay in bed,
I have so much going on right now,
What's the right thing to do I need to know somehow,
I have this man who claims he loves me,
But I don't feel the same chemistry,
I have another man when he touches me,
my body responds with such intensity,
I'm at a vulnerable place,
The anxiety playing with my heart rate,
He intrigues me, I want to hear his song,
My mind, body and soul not sure if they should string along,
I haven't been able to trust my own judgement for a while,
What If this is my only opportunity to smile,
He makes me feel desirable, seductive, and young,
This man has my heart sprung,
I've already gone so far with him there's no turning back,
his stare is like an aphrodisiac,
I could feel him undressing me with his eyes,
Dear god please tell me no lies,
I'm not putting any labels until I can comprehend,
For now I have a friend.

Why can't you love me like I do?

I'm laying here wondering where have I gone wrong, the first time I'm finally trying to be faithful to a man, he makes it damn near impossible. this shit is driving me crazy, my pussy feels like its trembling, just itching to finally be able to release, i could feel the moisture building up inside me. its like a fire growing just waiting to be unleashed. i don't know how much more of this i could take, it feels like he's pushing me away like he could care less if i did or if i didn't fuck around! man i just wanna go take a cold shower i can't take it, I'm gonna have to use my toy to relieve this frustration that I'm feeling for the meantime until I'm able to find someone who can give me the real thing. i can't believe at the prime in my life at my climax my sex life is non existent, and the most fucked up thing about it is that i had the opportunity to be intimate with this woman that I've known for years i long for her but something in me is stopping me. I'm in love with this man and i don't want to mess anything up and have him use that as a reason to leave me, even though at times i feel like maybe he's behaving like this towards me just so i do leave him, i just want to know that i gave it my all. should this ever fail i don't think i could put myself in this situation again, I'm to vulnerable, my heart although in pieces love him as though it was whole. my heart hurts, tears fill my eyes as i lay here alone, sinking in my thoughts. dear god i wish i knew what my next move should be. i need guidance, I'm falling in despair. bottom line i wanna be loved and adored, I'm tired of people taking me for granted and disrespecting me, when everything i do i do it out of love. I'm starving for intimacy i need it!!