Changes

  Changes, it's funny how fast things can change over night, I see you in a different light, I have suppressed my thoughts of you, it is no longer a possibility that's my truth, I have no regrets, I enjoyed every moment we had together, your touch I'll miss, but my memories are mine to keep forever.
 The girl in the mirror I hope you are truly happy as you embrace your new venture.......As I am happy for you!

My fears..

Some ppl, I assume get bored with being with the same person all the time, it's not because they don't love them, it's just somethings missing, the sparks have died ,sometimes you need a little inspiration else where, like going back to school for a little refresher course, back to basic.
  I love ppl, filtrating is normal Innocent, harmless, and it's fun, I also like having sex, it depends on the day or the month, sometimes it's all I think about and other times I could care less, but a good conversation some touching, and cuddling is great,
 ppl have different needs, but when you get to experience those needs, it's self rewarding, the only problem is when you go into these meaningless encounters with your heart.
 I try my best to block my feelings, but I can't help someone falling in love with me, one particular sensitive man, your company is great, I do miss hanging out with you, that one scene in the hotel in the east, was so much fun, and then we had lunch...you are everything a girl could dream of...but you could never be mine, I'm not saying we can't have fun sometimes, and shopping although I hate it passionately, you make it fun you always have me smiling, I'm like a little school girl next to you, I can't look at you with a straight face. I'm shy, so not my character, I'm out spoken on the phone, but I do have feeling like everyone else, we will have another time of complete ecstasy.
 But now I'm developing feeling for the girl in the mirror, I'm trying hard to put them aside but there is something about her smile the way she looks at me, makes me completely uninhibited, which is uneasy with me because everything about me is always calculated, and the unknown scares me I suppose that's my greatest fear..
 I've never been rejected, or left so I don't know what that feels like, since I've been dating at 15 I've never been single, I guess it's because I'm afraid of being alone, second fear.
 my third fear is failure.
I do get bored in my relationships which is why I venture, I love the one I'm with, maybe the reason things are good now with my boyfriend, is because I can't be honest with him about my sexuality, my likes my dislikes, my sexcapades..those are the most fun!
 I think what I'm afraid of right now is that maybe she doesn't know what she wants, or maybe her feelings aren't the same, I know she's knew in this game, and we've already been together twice but it wasn't planned, but It was one of those moments I will never forget, I hope the next time although different since she's confessed to wanting a one on one thing with me, and not in an orgy setting, will be good, it will be more passionate, the desire is already intense on my part, still unsure of hers....tell me how feel?
 You asked me since when have I known I was attracted to girls, since I was fifteen, the thoughts we there I felt like I was 2 different ppl, the boys loved me, I was popular, never a dull moment, I did my crazy things as an adolescent, I don't regret anything. My first love at 13.....My first relationship or sexual encounter with a female was 11 years ago I was 22 she taught me things that I never thought possible and only then did I realise what was missing in my life, I'm happy now with myself, I have lived my fantasies out well maybe the last thing would be to sleep with two men at the same time....but other than that I'm content..All I want to know is what makes you happy? I'd love to know your response!

 

Can't shake this feeling.

  how do you do it, make me think about you, you seem to be on my mind lately, since our kiss, when I'm at work I could almost feel your presence, I think of the things we could be doing together and my body starts reacting, not the greatest thing when I'm working, then again it helps me stay calm from the BS that's really going on.
   I play the scene out in my head you'd think I was really making love to you, that I was really eating your kitty, I wanna kiss you all over,
 I want you touching me, I want you lips on mine. the moment of lust that we once shared I want it back. I want you, crazy right? tell me how you're feeling.

The girl In the mirror

when I look into your eyes,
It drives me crazy, my body electrifies,
I want to touch you up and down,
everything still not a sound,
I can almost hear your heartbeat,
kissing you mine skips a beat,
you put thoughts in my head,
I can't wait to take you to bed,
I wanna kiss your body nice and slow,
make you helpless with no where to go,
a creamed path towards your navel,
my thoughts are more than I am able,
I wanna live your fantasties,
make them your reality,
open up to me,
I want to understand you entierly,
your smile, your soul, set your spirit free,
your a Phnenomal woman to me, 

Stop and think

Just when you think things can't surprise you any longer, something comes up and you have to wonder, there are things in life that I don't dwell on, If It happens so be It, If It doesn't no sleep lost, but then something in your life just makes you stop and think for a minute, The girl In the mirror, she's a little shy but it's interesting, I love picking her mind, making her open up to me, I sense that there is so much she wants to say or experience, but she unsure of my response or reaction, but little does she know I may feel the same, the only difference is that I don't push her, I understand she was a virgin to this sort of living, so I don't want to come on to strong, but I'm up to anything she has in mind, but it's sweet I'll take it nice and slow, the feeling is much more exhilarating,
  Just feeling her lips on mine sends signals up my spine, I wanted to devourer her today, but I had to restrain myself, baby steps.....