As I lay here and reflect on the year we've had,
I'm really hoping you'd think there was more good than bad,
insecurities have clouded my judgment at times,
I was only going by what you told me is what you didn't realize,
when you were in you'd told me, you'd never talk to her again in life,
then you come and text her that you'll love her for the rest of your life,
I don't know how you'd expect me to feel,
now all of sudden you guys are friends seems so unreal,
you said a lot of things to me,
seems like some of those things are but a memory,
If I had known that she could never be out of your heart
I don't think I would have open up my heart from the start,
Im not perfect, you have a lot of doubts not so much trust for me,
I also have those doubts like what does he really want from me,
every time I used to come see you I was always glowing,
the days never mattered because my love was growing,
now theres no intimacy no one seducing me,
I feel like Im drowning again and you'd rather be away from me,
numbing the heartache and rejection its easy,
despite all of that you don't really see me,
I often tell myself to just let you be,
But I just can't help myself I just want you to want me,
all of me even sexually,
your actions come off as cold,
I feel that shit right down to my soul,
sometimes I don't know who to talk to I'm crying inside,
talking to your family and everything was so far from my mind,
yes that was a mistake on my part,
I feel like no matter how hard I try things are falling apart,
all the dreams that I used to dream never had this version at the end
Now all the dreams I have don't seem to have an end!!